Update

Do you remember what it was to wait with bated breath for Christmas morning? That has been the level of excitement I have been living with for just over two weeks now. The movers will come to pack my house on the 1st of March, but that’s not why I’m excited. James and I will be going to Alberta on a DIT on February 26 for 5 days, but I’m not counting down the days to that. Nor am I on tiptoes for February 16 when James graduates from his course. Nope, I’m waiting for February 15. That is the last day I have to work at this latest posting I’ve been given. I’ve always said that eight hours is too long to be miserable. I’m proving that sentiment daily. I come to work just as happy as a clam, and within minutes my bubble is burst.

My supervisor is about the most disdainful fellow I’ve ever met, and when he tries to be gracious, he tenses up like someone is running nails down a chalkboard. And even at that, the A/P woman makes him look like a treat. She could be the tersest person I’ve ever met. However, at least she makes no pretenses at being affable. I miss ‘low-income hell’. That was my last job. So what the clients were, for the most part, bottom-feeders. The people I worked with were kind and sincere. Oh yeah, and then there was the bit about me being to busy to bitch. Here, it’s feast or famine for work. Right now I’m starving.

In other news, I had a complete meltdown the other day. I got a call from my dad just to say hi, how are you and my favourite “Just wanted to tell ya honey, I love you”. I said “Yep, love you too” and wanted to run for the hills. As much as I’d like to say I’m over it, I’m not. I still feel like an afterthought to my father, and his five minute phone calls after 3+ months of no contact don’t do much to alleviate the feeling. I went upstairs and wept fairly silently until James came up to check on me, Poor James. He’s going to learn to be like every other man and just not ask, because I exploded with the “What the hell was he thinking” and the “How dare he!”, after he asked what my father had said to upset me. It was not pretty, but true to form my honey let me cry it out in his arms and when I was pretty much cried out he tilted up my head, looked deep into my eyes, and said “Well at least he didn’t borrow $12,000.00 from us” (poking fun at his own dad) It was just what I needed. Funny thing is, I haven’t obsessed about it since. Normally I would. It would tear me up for weeks, make me sick even, but this time it just doesn’t seem all that important.

On to things that are important, I’ve decided that I’m going to go back to school. University in fact. I’ve done some research, and I have decided that I will get my Bachelor of Arts in English. I can take it through the University of Athabasca and in a mere 4 (perhaps 5) years I will finally get the letters behind my name that I’ve always wanted. The best part is, that through the University of Athabasca, I can take the courses via distance learning, which means all of my lectures are in print or on tape and I can take them on my schedule. I’m going to take it slow to start. There is so much I need to get done in a day, and I’m thinking that what little free time I have now will be gobbled up, but I’m really excited to get back to Alberta so I can start the balls rolling.