Oh My, how long has it been?

Wow,

I haven’t blogged since October! I’ve been pretty busy. My once perfect job is now coming to a close. I only have a day to go. This is a good thing, actually. Ever since getting the news that I was moving, I have been scattered and less than effective at work. My bosses have noted this, and I’ve had three tête-à-têtes with the managers in the last six weeks. Not so hot there. I’m doing my best, but it seems that that coupled with everything else isn’t very doable.

I’ve told that story to my lovely Kagami Maro, but she thinks I’m trying to be a martyr. Maybe that is what I’m doing, but it feels like there is so much on my plate, and once I’ve cleared a bit there is some demented Grandma filling my plate up again, despite the fact that I’m full!

How does a person let go off yesterday? I think this may be part of my problem. I haven’t been able to find that magic switch that makes a person wake up and leave everything from yesterday, last week or even last month behind them. How easy it would be to just start each day fresh, and leave all of the stress and worry incurred the day before there on the pillow. I’d truly enjoy that ability right now. I used to wake up refreshed and feeling blessed to see a new day. Now I can’t wait to see my bed again. What happened? Where is the difference? Why am I turning into a basket case?

I go to bed at the same time.
I do all the same things as I used to.

Why is it that I’m losing ground all of a sudden? Why aren’t I able to cope with typical me style. I used to be able to handle all of what life handed me and still maintain not only my sanity, but some tranquility besides. Where did that go?

Well that’s enough feeling sorry for myself, but seriously, if you have any ideas on how I can get my groove back, I’m open.

On to the good stuff…

My new PMQ (Private Married Quarters for you non-military types) is really nice. That was a shock. PMQ’s aren’t known for their niceness. Usually they’re small dingy places that barely qualify as shacks! Mine though is beautiful. James and I thought that it was officer housing! It’s a brick duplex with hardwood floors, three bedrooms, and a semi-finished basement. It has oodles of cupboards and counters in our itty-bitty kitchen, and some decent sized closets! When we toured it, it felt homey. There was lots of love in that space (again, not a trait of typical PMQ’s – James took days to cleanse the negativity out of both of his last two) So needless to say, I was impressed. It’s a small city, only 116,000 people and even at peak times it takes no more than 15 minutes to make it anywhere within the city limits. There is beautiful lake side parks and paths, and it’s absolutely amazing to watch the sun set over that water which goes out as far as the I can see. (Lake Ontario is pretty big)

Brandon gets to go visit his Dad for Christmas, and he’s very excited about going. For a long time there he was convinced that his Dad didn’t love him, and he didn’t want to visit or talk to him. It was very unnerving for me. My ex was never a good husband, but he was always a good Dad, and I didn’t want Brandon feeling that his coming to live with me changed the way he and his father connected. From there, I’m sending him up to see his Grandmother (father’s side) who is absolutely tickled about getting to see him. Happy Yule to All!

AND NOW FOR THE BEST NEWS!

We are officially FREE of James’ freeloading father! Today being the 15th, this is the last day we pay for anything of his. (He’s cost us in the neighborhood of 12,000 in the last year!) The jerk isn’t even grateful for the help we’ve given him, and in the process of de-leaching him, James had a near(ok, not so near but close enough for my liking)miss with the DND about the whole situation. Long story short, James’ father, through his inaction and belligerence about not wanted to pay his own way, was putting into motion a scenario that could have had James put in jail, and expelled from the military. James’ father was rather aloof about the whole situation, spouting “Oh they wouldn’t, but indeed yes they would, if the mood struck them right. I have been fed up with the man for months now, and finally blew it. I told him that he was a sorry excuse for a father, he didn’t deserve to have a son of James’ caliber, and if he didn’t get his shit together about taking over the rent on the house we’d set him up in and been paying for, that I would quite readily have him evicted on the last day of our lease. Perhaps this was a bit strong, but I was livid. He’s since told James that I’m emotionally unbalanced, and should I ever speak to him or his family again, that he’ll have me charged with uttering threats, or some such nonsense. In the end all be all, I still feel good about it. I needed to say those things to him. I know it’s petty, but I couldn’t allow myself to not say them. I needed that closure. Telling the person who’s abused you and endangered your family without remorse exactly how you feel, well I gotta say, it made me feel almost vindicated. Hooray for me!

As always the winds of fate are taking me for a ride, but I can feel the rest coming…

Yuletide Blessings! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Joyous Ramadan!
Or for you politically correct types Have a wonderful winter holiday!